Is healing possible?
Healing can be a loaded word, and lately it seems trauma has become one too— the subject of numerous think pieces about whether the wider understanding of what constitutes trauma has gone too far. As a person who has experienced both “big T” and “little T” trauma, I feel it’s a great disservice to compare the two. There is some truth to the observation that recently the word trauma has been used more loosely to define anything upsetting or negative. But what effects a person is subjective, and while most people will agree about the negative impact of those big T events, often the more cumulative traumas will be enshrined and buried deep within layers of denial, avoidance, minimizing, excusing, and a lack of self-compassion.
These experiences create deep wounds that are every bit as painful but much harder to see clearly. Such individuals (the little t folks) may maintain a higher level of functioning in the sense of ability to meet basic needs, holding a job, and not physically harming others— but they certainly are not happier. And to define the “minor” difficulties of dissatisfaction and loneliness as matters of personality or a syndrome of some kind, is to see them as manageable but not treatable. It also prioritizes functionality over happiness. The legacy of more attachment-based traumas is often an enduring sense of isolation. That lack of connection can be compounded by the difficulty of describing the experience of their traumas, making it harder still to feel understood by others and to understand themselves.
On the level of collective, societal, and ecological traumas, to suggest they are not “real” traumas is to bow to the cult of individualism— to say that the pain and suffering all around us is not significant or shouldn’t get in the way of being satisfied. Coping with existential pain is difficult enough without having it dismissed or brushed aside as mere “anxiety.” And in a human society plagued by racism, colonialism, religious extremism, ecological collapse, poverty, and communities structures fragmented into smaller disconnected parts— it’s no wonder that so few can say they have been totally unaffected by trauma.
Which leads to a complex question, is healing even possible? What does healing mean?
Any person is entitled to their opinion on as it relates to themselves. I won’t speak for what’s possible for everyone. One’s access to safety matters a lot in this question. Healing (a satisfactory quality of life, with some sense of meaning and connection) requires at least a little stability and safety. Without that we are surviving. Which is also enough sometimes.
In addition to injuring the mind and sometimes the body, I see trauma as a wound to the spirit. The Spirit, or core energy if you prefer, is timeless. If healing is about repairing the connection with our core essence or self, then we have more than this lifetime to do it. Most of the big and overwhelming problems of our societal, human world seem more manageable at this multi-generation timescale and I find it helpful to apply to personal healing too. Our bodies can break, and experience catastrophic damage, and our minds too, but the spirit— our energy— endures. Our spirit is always there, but we can become profoundly disconnected from it. Like a cell phone that loses signal, or walking away from the sound of music playing until you can’t hear it anymore. We can feel as if we have become empty or lost.
A lot of what are considered the “symptoms” of trauma could be summarized as a series of patterned responses and behaviors. Much like the expansion of timescale described before, trauma responses seem much more workable when we view them as patterns. What we consider to be our personalities, are also largely comprised of patterns and behaviors. Which makes them more flexible, changeable, if that’s what we want.
We can also see them as expressions of our energy, in the form of potential energy and kinetic energy. Our task is not to fix the energy but to find new channels of movement and expression.
Connecting to a core sense of self opens the door to this possibility, and the flexibility needed to contemplate what healing can mean. It creates a venue for exploring what kind of change is possible, and what kind of change we are seeking. It is a path back to ourselves.
On many occasions I have been asked by clients and supervisees for good recommendations to trauma workbooks. There are many out there— especially if you’re looking for support that focuses on better managing or dampening the clinically defined “symptoms” of trauma response. But when approached about one that integrates some of the more existential and energy-based perspectives that are the core of my work I struggled to find something.
It inspired me to create my own. I am excited to announced the availability of Inward Vision: a Trauma Recovery Workbook
This workbook will take you on a journey of self-discovery, with dozens of thoughtful journal prompts, guided exercises, creative explorations, and more. It also captures in writing some of my perspectives in a concise, deliberate flow. It is practical, written in a straightforward style that avoids overuse of clinical terms and jargon. The focus is on recovery that leads to a state of feeling satisfied, to develop the skills needed to thrive.
I hope that its unique perspective will be illuminating regardless of your background (it can be for personal use or as a resource to support work with others).